exploring the bonds

I don't feel the way I thought I would about my chickens. Don't get me wrong, I'm quite fond of them, and I enjoy having them. But I thought I would love them like I love my other pets, but the reality is that I don't. My theory is that I only have feelings for animals that are reciprocated.

This is even true for my cats. Perhaps they just show it differently, but I don't feel that my cats love me very much. Sure they like us, but I don't feel like we are all a family together. Iroh seems much more attached to us than Selina is at this point, so I return Iroh's affections and try to regain Selina's.

When I was unemployed, and Selina and I spent all day together, it was wonderful. We took naps together and played, and she drove me crazy while I tried to sew or crochet. She loved me very much and I loved her. Then I started working, we got Iroh. As if that weren't enough, we moved -- into a house that had not only a dog, but a young child as well. True, he isn't with us full-time, but he's sure rambunctious enough to make up for his absence. She's now in a perpetual bad mood most of the time, and we can pet her for all of 2 seconds before she makes an irritated noise and runs away, or even bites us. Her kneading me and sleeping on my chest is now a rare treat rather than part of our nightly routine.

Sometimes I find myself wondering if we should find another home for her, where she can be the only animal in the house. I haven't considered this seriously both for selfish reasons and because I don't know how she would react to a new home since she seems so resistant to change. But someday my parents will take Lucy, and DH and I will get a dog of our own that will likely be much larger than Lucy. How will Selina handle that? I'm not sure, but I want her to be happy. She tolerates Lucy and is actually much nicer to Lucy than she was to Iroh when we first got him. We did turn her world upside down in a matter of few months, so maybe she just needs more time. I hope that's the case.